Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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