OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
