Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
