That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
