Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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