I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
