Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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