i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
