nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My vagina is officially offended.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
