i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
