We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
