You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
