I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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