come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
