Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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