the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Drake has all the answers
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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