...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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