i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
