Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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