Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude i'm inner monologue high
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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