I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
