Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
