I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
