susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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