They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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