I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
