At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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