me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Holy sore nipples Batman
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize