i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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