I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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