He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
