So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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