How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
