why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
