just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize