3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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