Me. At least after what I've been through.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
And the cops told us we were all naked.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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