Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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(813): View more from Florida

If you die in college, do you die in real life?

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(810): View more from Michigan

Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

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(407): View more from Florida

Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.

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(760): View more from California

You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies

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(254): View more from Texas

What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one

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(443): View more from Maryland

When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.

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