I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
