your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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