Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
