Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
