You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My ass is underappreciated
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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