one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize