We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
