Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
