i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
