I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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