Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
