John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Found your dick twin last night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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