who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like a drive thru vagina
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
