Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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