so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
