Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize