now i know why i became what i already was.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
