what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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