Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
