he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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