OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
